First Wave of Sadness
I knew it would come, but I didn't know when. The first wave of sadness hit today in chapel during the healing service. It was Frank Yamada's last time to preside. He said the most beautiful healing prayer when I went up. It seems like the wave hit many people in the chapel at the same time because lots of folks were crying during the peace and holding tightly to each other. Sniffles could be heard through the rest of the service. When I get teary in church I can't sing. The music makes me cry harder.
Today the adrenalin drooped. I've been pushing so hard for so long to get done, and the excitement of getting done has been driving me. But I woke up tired today, and I stayed that way all day. Someone came to survey the apartment for my move. I have now received papers for my house loan as well as health insurance papers. There are so many things to fill out and so many documents to collect. I'm afraid I locked my interest rate in too soon and so didn't get the best rate I could. I had to look at pictures of my house today to remind me that buying a house really is a good idea. There's a time in all my decisions when I doubt what I've decided. I just have to get past this part.
Waves of excitement will return, but for today the wave of sadness and exhaustion has taken over.
posted by Merely Human @ 9:54 PM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
Blessings to be counted: said documents are (at least nominally) in English. Got a mobile phone number in Georgia earlier this week, and for all I know the contract requires me to turn over my two daughters at age of majority and to sacrifice a calf every new moon. It's all just squiggles with my signature at the bottom. At least the phone works, though. And if my two never make it to college, you'll know what happened.
I understand, and you all are so much in my thoughts these weeks.
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